As a trauma informed therapist, I’m always mindful of the ways that trauma shows up in the lives of people that I work with. In order to be aware of and heal through trauma, let’s define our terms.
Once you have a good grasp on this discussion of trauma, you might also find it helpful to read Guilt and Shame as that’s how trauma can impact our daily lives. After that, make sure to get a sense of how things can be better by reading Happiness, Community, Utopia.
Singular Trauma
Singular trauma is what most people mean when they are talking about PTSD, or post traumatic stress disorder. I call it singular trauma to differentiate it from complex and intergenerational trauma.
It is singular in that it has a clear beginning, middle, and end. So, prior to this singular trauma your life will look a certain way, and then the trauma happens, and then afterwards it sucks but is over.
This might be a hot take, but for me the concept of a non – complex trauma is theoretical and doesn’t exist in practice. I’ll elaborate on this in the next section.
Complex Trauma
Complex trauma is sometimes referred to as CPTSD – complex post traumatic stress disorder. The term complex designates that this trauma doesn’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end.
I believe that many of the traumas that we designate as singular are actually more complex in practice.
For example, we can look at a car crash as an example of something that might appear to be a singular trauma at first glance. You crash then it’s over right?
Except, in this country, it’s not over. Now you have to deal with your insurance company. You have to arrange alternative transportation when public transportation is not adequately funded. If you’re lucky you might receive some money in a settlement, but your bills won’t wait. And you probably don’t have the ability to take time off from work to rest and recover.
Because of the structure of our society, you’re not able to process the trauma soon after it happens. Instead, it continues to impact your life.
Systems of oppression and their impacts also constitute complex traumas. There is no clear beginning, middle, or end. Instead this is just the environment you live in. And being oppressed is traumatic.
To heal this we’ll need to process our grief. More on that below.
Intergenerational Trauma
Intergenerational trauma refers to the transmission of trauma across generations. This is talked about most often in the form of families, but will also be relevant in nations, ethnic groups, and diasporas.
This can be a difficult subject to talk about, because it involves naming how our family and community members have reenacted their traumas. In naming this, we risk their judgement.
Yet, there doesn’t need to be blame associated with naming the presence of intergenerational trauma. Intergenerational trauma will continue to be present in every generation until someone is ready to name and interrupt the cycle.
This can involve healing together and/or naming boundaries. In some cases it means going no contact with our family or community members. I’ll support you in finding what path works best for you.
Grief
Grief is the key to healing all forms of trauma. In using this term, I mean having a full physical and emotional reaction to an experience, receiving support, integrating this experience into the story of your life somehow, and meaningfully choosing how to move forward.
Moving through grief is not a simple or linear process. Instead, it’s a layered and cyclical process.
We might grieve something in the moment, feel okay for a while, and then be triggered by something and return to the grief. But this next time that it comes around it’ll be different, influenced by last time. We keep going through this journey as we grow and change, accumulating different forms of trauma, support, and coping skills.
I don’t believe it’s possible to fully grieve and heal from all our trauma in the context of this world we live in. Perhaps in another world that is not continuously traumatizing, this might be possible.
But in this world, we do what we can to grieve with the capacity that is available to us. We do this to honor the truth of our experiences.
Working through trauma and grief in our therapeutic relationship involves this layered, cyclical ebb and flow sort of process.
We want to honor the truth of your experiences yes, but we also want to make room for joy in the present and new things in the future. Expect us to take turns focusing on these various things, according to what feels most important in that moment.