If you’re wanting to live a more authentic version of your truth, don’t forget to read Happiness, Community, Utopia after you’re done with this one!
Or alternatively, if you’re wanting to heal your relationship with sex and relationships after experiences of harm, you can check out SA, DV, and BDSM.
Gender
Gender issues get a lot of attention from politicians, news organizations, and hate groups. In this climate, it can sometimes feel like there is so much conflict between men and women, and between cisgender and transgender people.
In my experience as a nonbinary and transgender therapist, I’ve learned that gender issues impact us all. Addressing these issues is a collaborative effort, not a competitive one. bell hooks wrote about this in “Feminism is for Everybody.”
Whether your own process with gender centers around identity exploration, presentation and being perceived, gender roles and expectations, or support in being your authentic self – these are things we struggle with in all genders in our own ways.
Sex
Sex can refer to two things. One of those is our physical sex characteristics. The other is the act of expressing our sexuality.
When it comes to our physical characteristics, sometimes there can be this understanding that this exists outside of our gender and sexuality. But this isn’t true! These things all impact one another.
In the practice of sex, many of us have trauma from being sexualized or feeling undesirable. Our society puts sex on a pedestal and yet we don’t often receive the consent education or supportive environment we need to safely engage with it.
Sex can be a bit of a taboo subject. If you don’t feel comfortable talking about it when we first begin meeting, that’s okay. But it is a normal part of life and we can ease into it.
Sexual issues we might discuss include too much sex or porn, too little sex, sexual trauma, sexual relationships, and kink dynamics.
Sexuality
If sex is the act, sexuality is the “who.” What types of people are you attracted to? Has this changed over time?
We have labels like gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, and straight. While these labels can be helpful in describing our experience, it’s also totally normal for our behaviors or attractions to fall outside of the strict definitions of these labels.
Maybe you want some help working through what label fits you best. Or, perhaps you know very well who you are attracted to but want some support with dating. Or, maybe you’re in a committed relationship but having some roadblocks in expressing sexuality.
Alternatively, people experience sexuality differently from allosexuals. If you’re demisexual or ace/asexual you might want support in working out your own sexual practices, or in figuring out if you even want to engage with sex. Or maybe you just want a therapist who doesn’t think there’s something wrong with you.
Whatever you’re wanting to work through, we can look at it as a continual process of discovery, connection with self, and connection with the people in your life.